the things i do for you

some people round here have been nice enough to be supportive of the project, the one that involves photographing all the cemeteries in london. i cheerfully admit that this is a slightly odd thing to want to do, and will not be to everyone's taste. but i did not expect it to actually be dangerous. but this weekend i have dealt with two drunks of the "come and sit with us, darling" variety, one drunk of the "fuck it, fuck it, fuck em all" variety, one certifiable madman, one wall topped with broken glass (i didn't climb it, but i did think about doing), one cemetery locker-up with a fast wristwatch (yes, it appears my school sports teacher was right; i can run if i want to) and a swarm of bees. a swarm of bees! i ask you.

i'm hoping to have enough photos after this weekend's work comes back to go live with this, but here are a few sneaky peekys. the highgate lion and catacomb gates. some angels at brompton. my favourite angel in st. pancras. the blue men in st. marylebone, and the blue lady in hendon.
6/30/2002 04:08:08 PM #

 

designing a better human

1. sort out tendons in feet. just because i'm used to wearing ridiculous heels doesn't mean that when i do put on sensible shoes my feet should scream in agony.

2. link sleep/wake patterns of people sharing a bed, to obliterate murderous thoughts of insomniacs towards their gently snoring partners at three in the morning.

3. redesign liquid system, to eliminate annoying simultaneous being thirsty and needing to pee.
6/29/2002 08:01:53 AM #

 

like they do on the discovery channel

congratulations to discovery.com for managing to feature three of my current obsessions on their news page.

the world's oldest photo is in good health, but scientists still can't recreate the process by which it was made.

neanderthal people hunted mammoths, suggests some new archaeology. which presumably argues for better communication abilities than a book i am reading thinks they had.

and the world's oldest intact tomb has been found near giza. i was intrigued to read that its interior resembles that of the pyramids themselves; whatever those odd shafts pointing at the stars were doing for the dead pharaoh, presumably the same structure but without the geometry was going to do for his servants. can't wait to see what mr hancock makes of this one.
6/27/2002 09:49:31 PM #

 

useless

i think we have reached the petrified nadir with this one.
6/26/2002 08:05:08 AM #

 

geek joke

there are 10 types of unix user, the ones that understand binary and the ones that don't.
6/24/2002 10:41:40 PM #

 

transformed into an angel of light

i'm not opposed to a bit of photoshopage, but i swear the light effect on this angel is entirely natural, and unintentional on my part(!).
6/22/2002 03:06:56 PM #

 

feeling the lurve

...and thanks for all the commenty recently, people. it feels very lonely when it goes 0, 0, 0 all the way down.
6/22/2002 09:44:04 AM #

 

it means nothing to me, oh vienna.

everything i think keeps resolving itself into lyrics. it began, yesterday, giving someone directions, which kept becoming take the last train to clarksville. and then, in the middle of the night, turning over to look at the time and having mr cohen sing softly to me it's four in the morning, the end of december. and then it got silly, a take that medley over breakfast: everything changes but shoes, relight my fire so i can cook on it, and then could it be magic muscling in for no other reason than it felt left out. so, i say thank you for the music, but stop!... oh no...
6/22/2002 09:17:55 AM #

 

what i am

according to google, sue is:

- the largest, most complete, and best preserved Tyrannosaurus rex.
- [who is] remarkable because of her size, completeness, and quality of preservation.
- a unicode editor based on multilingual text editor, a technology available in mac os 9 and mac os x
- an engineering process for accurately identifying the quality of subsurface utility information needed for highway plans.
- a character in jude the obscure.
- a winner through and through and has proven that. [aw, shucks!]
- ready for a wild west party!

the jury is still out on whether it's better to be a dinosaur or an acronym.

idea stolen from graham.
6/21/2002 12:41:25 PM #

 

stupid

this link is illegal according to npr.org (whoever the elvis they are). so... i filled out the form asking for permission to link to them. i got a reply that said:

thank you very much for writing. we're unable to answer every e-mail we receive but we do look at each one personally. here are some other commonly-asked questions and the answers. if you can't find the answer here, please reply to this message and put 'help' in the subject line.

how do i open the news articles on your web site?

yada yada yada. nothing about linking. so i replied with 'help' in the subject line and got the exact same 'personal' message back again. i've long thought that the people who insist on what can and can't be done as far as other people's links go are lacking a fundamental understanding of how the internet works, and i think i've just proved myself right.
6/19/2002 11:41:56 PM #

 

in which we are nice

i love the idea of all raising money at the same time but for our own favoured causes. it's interesting to see who people choose. there is no way that i can stay awake for 24 hours. well, i could.... there is no way that i could post every half an hour forty-eight times running. so i am sponsoring kd and skarlet and mizdos. i heart em all. i loudly support both their sponsees. so i'm splitting my donation between them.
6/19/2002 10:43:22 PM #

 

vindaloo

there is absolutely no truth in the rumour that if england win the world cup, the following monday (july 1st) will be a bank holiday. however, our intrepid reporter is still trying to ascertain the accuracy that if england are ahead in the final, d. beckham will be substituted in the 89th minute by t. blair. we believe it to be bloody likely, however.
6/19/2002 09:03:31 PM #

 

not beauty

asked for a definition of truth, google gets religious. ooh dear.
6/19/2002 01:06:47 PM #

 

there's one born every minute

i just received a spam from these people. who are, get this, selling software to generate pop-up windows. the part i particularly love is the free bonus pack to let you close the windows again.

if anyone is thinking of spending $34.95 on this, please let me know. i will tell you how to generate pop-up windows for just $25.00. or you could spend the money on the o'reilly javascript book.
6/17/2002 03:40:08 PM #

 

what were you thinking of? #2

it's the campest cherub in the world!
6/16/2002 03:01:01 PM #

 

sick

all the news this morning is full of the story that a 71-year old woman with cancer was raped in a hosital toilet. most of the comment centres on her age, and on her poor health, implying that to rape an old, ill woman is somehow worse. which in turn implies that to rape a young, healthy, voluntarily sexually active woman is somehow better. if you must be a sicko who rapes women, make sure it's in the middle of the night in a dark alleyway, preferably near a club or bar which will be full of drunk sluts anyway. the days of short skirts asking for it are never very far away.
6/14/2002 07:44:49 AM #

 

*blush*

get on over and visit alex, because i'm her aortal link.
6/12/2002 07:51:56 AM #

 

angels with dirty fingernails

the project proceeds; when i have a decent quantity of photos back, i'll be sure to let you know. as b says, saying i'm going to photograph every cemetery in london and then posting up pictures of the three that are within walking distance of my house smacks of a project that won't get finished...

but to be going on with, to be filed under what were you thinking of? (and a close-up).
6/11/2002 07:15:27 PM #

 

another boring test

my bloginality is intp. i am sooo not surprised. bloginality, though, has the distinction of being the ugliest word i've heard for a very long time.
6/7/2002 12:08:31 PM #

 

along these lines

via glish and blogger, nyc bloggers links to, um, nyc bloggers organised by subway station. i think it'd be cool to do this for london. except that i don't know anyone else in london who blogs. how sad is that? anyone care to put me right?
6/6/2002 12:16:44 PM #

 

just act normal

today we went to a garden centre and bought lobelia and fuscias and some other flowers of which i've completely forgotten the name, and planted them in the baskets and pots on the balcony. i'm very relieved that on one day of this four-day weekend, i've done something normal. something that i can say at work that i've done. because on the other three days, i've been photographing cemeteries.

i've grown up around cemeteries. for my first four years at school, my route to and from went through a large cemetery. it was the first place i could go without my mother calling me back and my brother and sister hanging onto me, and it meant my independence. this was good.

now, i live between st. pancras and st. marylebone cemeteries. i'd taken some photos in the former for another project. and some of the memorial art was so beautiful that i went back especially for it. this, too, was good.

and while b was playing with his toy car, i went to highgate and fell completely in love with it.

and i discovered that there are 103 cemeteries in london. 103 green pools of peace in this loud, fast city. i am going to photograph them all.

and although i know that this is a perfectly normal hobby and lots of people do it, the people in my office would (i am certain) think it was the hobby of a morbid weirdo and (perhaps) a slimy-toothed madwoman. i am not going to tell them what i did this weekend.

i'll tell them i did gardening. then they'll just think i'm boring.

petunias. they're petunias.
6/4/2002 05:48:37 PM #

 

nice work if you can get it

you may only have sex while at work if your life depends upon it.
6/4/2002 05:09:53 PM #

 

i am not the droid you are looking for

see my breasts, methods of torture, my stinky bum, stupidity +boob job, when someone does everything at the last minute, is it safe to swim with a belly button rings, the anatomy of horse penises.
6/4/2002 04:51:38 PM #

 

monday is meme day #2

:: how jedi are you? ::
6/3/2002 04:04:48 PM #

 

monday is meme day

my monday mission.

1. who or where do you go to when you need help for web-related problems? google. never failed to find an answer yet. the wrox php book is pretty good too, as is eric meyer's css book.
2. there is a big mess of gossip going on in blogland due to revelations about a very popular blogger. i got very caught up in reading all the links to links about it until i stopped myself realizing it was none of my buisiness. do you ever get caught up in gossip, either speading it or listening to it? how does it make you feel? or have you ever been the subject of gossip? better to be talked about than ignored. but i never spread; that way people trust you and you get told more. damn, what is this question about? i've missed this one...
3. in a relationship, when your other takes a dig at you (read: a fight), do you go for the jugular and get "in their face" or try to peacefully smooth things out and have a calm discussion? b never starts fights with me. he just looks at me calmly while i rage around him like a storm and finally blow away.
4. a friend once told me "you can tell when someone is bored with what you are saying to them when they reply with 'that's interesting.'" and I have found this to be pretty dang true. how do you know when someone has lost interest in what you are saying? that's an interesting question... i don't care if people are interested or not. i only talk about stuff that i'm interested in, if they don't like it they should have the guts to tell me. to whit: the interesting lecture b got yesterday on the history of cemeteries in london. poor guy.
5. ever get jealous of the popularity other blogs? see answer to previous question.
6. what is your favorite dirty word? (those who don't curse can pick your favorite happy word) cunt. the word cunt needs rehabilitating like gay was and nigger is being. it's the only word i know for the female genetalia that doesn't sound like something a five year old would say, or a bad translation of japanese poetry. plus it's so satisfying to see the look of shock on other people's faces when one uses it. a word is only a collection of sounds. a word, in and of itself, cannot be offensive; offensiveness can only come from the intent of the person using the word. and believe me, i intend to be very offensive.
7. (the continuing story...) ok, we are definitely doing that again. but seeing as it is nearly 6am now, how about breakfast? anywhere you'd like to go or should we fix our own? what do you like? or is there something else we need to do first? sorry, i picked up your mate in the last question and i'm taking him home now for a b-i-g breakfast. and i think you know i don't mean corn flakes.

bonus: what have i done to deserve this? i bought you drinks, i brought you flowers, i read you books and talked for hours...
6/3/2002 03:51:41 PM #

 

stoners (#2)

the washington post has a pop at jean m auel. wondering why the hell i shelled out for the hardback...
6/3/2002 04:08:03 AM #

 

fast film

maybe i've been watching too much star wars, because i was really suprised when the time machine was less than an hour and a half long. there is no intellectual analysis of this to happen, largely because i haven't read the book for twenty years. but mike from neighbours and the very beautiful woman are lovely. the story is, hmm, well, fairy-tale sweet and easy. and short. but fun. go and see it because it's not going to take much time from your life.
6/2/2002 11:21:01 PM #

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